Wanted my sanity back....

This weekend I made an amazing discovery for moms everywhere; something simple and yet totally ingenious. I know you will appreciate this find so much so that you will probably want to name a national holiday after me or perhaps even one of your children in my honor.
It was Sunday. I was vacuuming. No, really-I was. My sweeper was having issues, more even than a Mommy on a bad day. The machine was making a horrific noise. I knew that it probably wasn’t very healthy for a vacuum sweeper to sound like a Leer Jet, but then again, maybe the sweeper had a dream to be a US Destroyer doing a flyby through my living room. Who was I to stand in its way?
My house really needed this domestic duty since our cleaning fairy apparently took the week off. The sweeper was sucking so I would simply have to put up with the loud, annoying sound screaming at me-after all, I was a mother of six. On a daily basis I was subjected to things a lot louder-a lot worse.
My husband suddenly came behind me and unplugged my cord. It seemed he was concerned about the extreme sound coming from Old Betsy. Instead of using his engineering degree and fixing the problem he handed me something. Here, use these. I wrinkled my nose and rolled my eyes as he handed me a green cord with two yellow spongy things attached to each end-ear plugs. I immediately asked, “Are they used?” He insisted they were fresh out of the package. I requested to see the package.
I reluctantly put in the ear plugs; knowing that I would be heckled by my children for looking like a dork. All of a sudden, the deafening sound was quieted. Everything was softened; a muffled serenity had engulfed me. I could see my children arguing. I could tell that their mouths were forming the word MOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!-urgently on their lips. I simply pointed to my ears and shrugged my shoulders in feigned lack of understanding. They finally got the picture and left me be.
I swept high. I swept low. I was a sweeping diva. I didn’t want to quit; not because I had a sudden affection for this domestic duty, but because I was enjoying this soundproofed world away from the chaos that reigned around me. I finally faced the inevitable. I had faked vacuuming enough that my family was highly suspicious. I turned off the sweeper. I sighed and removed the earplugs. My children with their powerful super radar sensed I had made the removal…MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! I quickly reattached the yellow sponges into my ears; shook my head and mouthed the words; I can’t hear you…and walked away.
I may never remove these earplugs again!
Mamas I highly recommend getting yourself a pair. I really think I am on a road toward recovering some of my lost sanity. Yes, I admit that the earplugs aren’t overly attractive, but I believe if we band together the world will soon see them as a fashion statement; something hip, something new-fashionable and functional. I think I might even market them myself for mothers everywhere-Mommy Plugs; for moments of silence when the noise insists on following you around. Just think; no more will you have to try to escape the chaos. We can just blissfully ignore the noise!
Anyone want to place an order?
I can’t hear you…
no, really, I can’t!Buy the plugs today and I will throw in a Mommy Blindfold FREE! Your world could be perfect today…